Top Ten Things Not to Do at Hogwarts
by Spunkalovely
Summary: Read about the trio and friends with a crazy new girl, Alaya make havoc in Hogwarts with trying to make everything fall together but will it accidentally fall apart instead? Reand and review! Response to Lizzyjonas's challenge D At hpff of course :P


"Hear, ye, hear, ye!" a brunette shouted of the rumble of voices.

"What, Alaya?" Ron Weasley demanded.

"I called you all here for a reunion of sorts, to remember our last year of Hogwarts!" Alaya yelled, standing on a coffee table. "Now, if you all would be so kind to sit down."

Everyone there smiled and took a seat in the nearest chair.

"So, I think it'd be interesting to make a list. A list of the top ten things not to do at Hogwarts and send it to the teachers," Alaya said, still standing.

"I like it!" Ginny declared from her seat next to Neville.

"Okay, so, starting with number ten," Neville said.

"Um, I'd say her least worse was tie dying Hedwig," Hermione laughed. Everyone turned to look at the still faintly multi-colored bird.

"I don't think she's ever gotten over that," Alaya mused to mainly, herself.

"I wouldn't," Harry objected.

"Don't give her ideas, mate," Ron suggested when Alaya's eyes lit up.

"Right, sorry I said anything," Harry said immediately. He was going to regret saying that, he predicted, in the next two weeks at least.

Alaya flashed back to the memory of her Tye Dye escapade.

_As me and Draco snuck up to the Owlery I felt my palms start to sweat. Was this such a good idea? What if Harry didn't take it so lightly? Maybe this would go up into flames and the entire plot, The Plan I had spent forever working on, would be ruined. I huffed determinedly and decided there was no way he was going to ruin this for me or anyone else involved (whether they knew this or not)._

_The scent of parchment, wet ink, and droppings attacked my nose making me cough slightly. A couple owls seemed to scowl at me when they poked their little heads from under their wings. I gave an apologetic face and trudged on to where Hedwig rested._

_"Do you have the paints?" I asked Draco._

_He lifted the paints in the air that he was carrying slightly, eyes on the owl._

_"Okay, sorry bout this Hedwig, you're gonna have to take one for the team... stupfey!" I said, stunning the bird while Draco held the paint brush on the feathers, waiting for my signal. "Phase one of Operation Hogwarts Makeover is a go."_

_And Hedwig got her make-over..._

Alaya gave Draco a high five, knowing he was remembering the memory like her.

"Okay, number nine," Alaya said.

"I'd say the We're Off to see the Wizard thing," Neville said, laughing slightly. Alaya's lips twitched upward at the memory.

_I sighed. To get them acting a little crazy. I looked at McGonagall forlornly and knew exactly what I had to do. I didn't want to humiliate her, but it was for the better good, right? Its a shame Draco couldn't assure me that I was doing the right thing. He made me feel so good. Good about myself and the rest of the world. He was my teddy bear, something to land on. He could make me laugh when I didn't even want to smile. Did all guys do that to you? I don't remember any of my mom's ex-husbands ever being able to do that. Maybe it was a Draco thing. Or maybe it was something else..._

_But now was not the time to ponder that thought._

_"Alaya, can you tell me?" McGonagall asked me. I knew the answer. It was one of the easiest spells we had learned. Hermione will surely kill me for doing this one but hey. _

_"I think Albus is good looking too, Professor," I said as seriously as I could manage. He actually was handsome if you got past the whole old and wrinkly thing._

_McGonagall looked flustered to say the least. People had started laughing at our transfiguration teacher but I just sat there chanting the phrase 'send me to Dumbledoor's office' over and over again in my head._

_I wonder if she was a Legimens. She managed to stutter out the phrase and my face broke out into a grin. I winked at Draco, signaling the next move._

_Quickly I walked out of there and said a quiet spell to activate the song everyone- muggle or wizard- knew by heart._

_"WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD, THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF HOGWARTS," the magical speakers blared across the school. With minor changes, of course._

_Smiling to myself I chuckled when I saw sights I thought I'd never see. People dancing around in the classrooms, the ghosts playing along. I never saw Peeves so joyful before. I could have sworn I saw Snape wink at me when I passed him in the halls. I think - I only think - he was humming along too. When I reached Dumbledoor's office he smiled serenely and gave me that look that clearly said 'so-what's-this-about?'_

_And I revealed The Plan to my beloved Headmaster._

"Okay, okay, eighth anyone?" Alaya challenged her friends.

"The Drink me one you did to everyone," Ron decided.

_Sneakily I charmed all the vials to say 'Drink Me!' on the front. All the desks had their own vials on the desks. I made extra sure Harry and Hermione's were the right ones. Soon enough everyone arrived and suspiciously looked at their vials. Some glanced to the board where I charmed it to say:_

_Drink your selected vials as soon as you get seated in your regular seats._

_And it was in Snape's writing too, it was an excellent ploy if I do say so myself. I watched Harry and Hermione drink their vials cautiously. I could almost see the potion coming into affect, all the minor things they unconsciously did were coming full circle in their minds. I glanced at my vial that I picked out myself. Shrugging I drained it._

_Draco smiling at me, helping me with my books, comforting me when I thought all was lost, meeting him, sharing The Plan with him. The particular memory that went like this:_

_"What would I do without you?" I asked sweetly, snuggling up to his side, enjoying the warmth._

_"Let's not find out," he whispered in my ear. It sent shivers down my spine and I never wanted to leave this spot._

_I was in love with Draco Malfoy. Oh jeez._

Alaya just noticed a quill, alike Rita Skeeters, flying across the parchment that was numbering the things with her own memories of the account. This could not be good.

"Oh, the food fight!" Ginny exclaimed laughing.

"That was a good one," Hermione admitted.

Ron gasped girlishly, "A head official? Admitting the wrong-doings of two misled students was, and I quote, 'a good one'? Please tell me somethings documenting this moment!"

Hermione wrinkled her nose and made a face.

Alaya chuckled, remembering the moment.

_I glanced over at Draco, his head adorning a large silver pot, his hands full with random foods we had grabbed. I looked at my fists crushing two cupcakes and smiled at the blonde. I chuckled when I saw my reflection in his hat choice. I was wearing a pot like a raccoon skin hat, with the handle in the back._

_"Let's do this," he said confidently. I melted at the sight of his smiled and begged my knees not to give out. I managed to flash my own smile and nod. Together, we flung open the doors to reveal all of Hogwarts._

_"FOOD FIGHT!" I yelled, flinging a vanilla cupcake into the air, starting a huge revelation. Everything was being flung across the room. I saw Harry flick a chocolate chip at a smiling - surprisingly enough- Hermione. She grabbed the pudding bowl and splashed it on him, smirking. I threw my other cupcake before hissing to Draco, "Let's get the heck out of here."_

"Okay, so the sixth one," Harry said.

"Feeding the Slytheriens fried Snake," Luna claimed. Everyone chuckled at the memory, even Draco. Probably because Alaya warned him before hand.

_"Hey, Dobby, I have a special order from all the Slytheriens," I said, smiling at the little house elf. He was so dog-gone cute. "Fried Snake. That's all. Completely fried snake, no exceptions." _

_Winking at the house elf who was grinning up to me I turned and walked out of the kitchens whistling to myself, thinking about what was going to take place within five hours. This was gonna be good._

_--_

_"Hey, Draco, do you wanna sit at the Gryffindor table for dinner with me?" I asked, praying he'd say yes. For his sake anyway._

_"Ya, sure, Alaya," Draco said, putting his arm around my shoulder as we made it to dinner. I couldn't help the smile threatening to break through my calm desterior, carefully watching the Slytheriens._

_Pansy greedily popped a fork of fried snake into her mouth before frowning while chewing. Eventually she spit it out and saw the tell-tale signs of snake-ness. _

_"EWWWW! THIS IS SNAKE!" Pansy shrieked. I could barely stifle my laughter._

_"So that's why you invited me over here," Draco said aloud to himself. The entire Gryffindor table was roaring with laughter, Hermione was crying from so much laughter._

_"You got it," I said, smiling widely._

_"I'm glad you did," Draco said before laughing with the others. _

"How about save a broom, ride a wizard," Luna suggested.

Alaya grinned at Draco at the thought of what she did. He winked back at her and squeezed her hand.

_I squirmed uncomfortably. How had I gotten persuaded by Hermione to sit here and stay still? I should be out there, watching Draco fly around in the air. I ached to see him smile to me, knowing he saved that smile just for me. I stared out the window, hoping I'd get a glimpse of a player. Hopefully a platinum blonde haired player._

_Harry and Ron exchanged a glance, knowing they had been in my position at one time. They nodded._

_"Go, we'll cover for you," Harry said, quietly as if Hermione would pop up from the shadows. I smiled brightly at him and hugged them both._

_"You're the best, I swear I love you both," I exclaimed. Quickly I sprinted to the pitch, with only a single thing on my mind._

_Draco looked distractedly at me as I flew down the hill. He lowered himself onto the ground and I flung myself on him. He caught me like it was the most natural thing in the world._

_"What's all this about?" he whispered into my ear._

_"Oh don't you know?" I said in a raspy whisper. "Save a broom, ride a wizard."_

_Draco chuckled. "Where to, milady?"_

_"I don't know. The room of Requirement?"_

_"Why there?" he asked._

_"I don't know. Just somewhere private where I can tell you something I just realized a couple days ago," I said, still very out of breath._

_"Like what? The meddling with other peoples love lives is a bad idea?" Draco laughed._

_"No, like I love you," I said, pulling my head back to kiss him softly on the lips. He responded immediately._

_"Really, cause funny thing, I love you too," Draco said, pulling out of the kiss before smashing his lips again on mine again, harder and more desperate than the first._

Everyone laughed at Alaya as she smiled ruefully before kissing Draco sweetly.

"Okay, enough of that," Ron said. "I'd have to say your fourth was telling the first years they should build a tree house on the Whomping Willow."

Alaya giggled in spite of herself, smiling proudly.

_"Alaya, we're bored," complained a first year, plopping down next to me._

_I felt my face turn upwards in a smile or a smirk. "You know, I think you should build a tree house on the Whomping Willow."_

_The little boy of the little group gasped and smiled. "We should!"_

_Draco came up, kissing me on the forehead. The kiss froze my feet to the ground made my heart melt._

_"I know that face, what are you up to?" he said, smiling._

_"We're going to build a tree house on the Whomping Willow!" a little munchkin exclaimed._

_"No, that's not such a good idea," Draco said alarmed. "Go ask Ron Weasley to teach you how to play Wizards Chess."_

_The little first year group giggled and ran off to find Ron._

_"Alaya! Seriously?" he asked. I immediately felt bad, knowing he was disappointed._

_"I'm sorry, its just, it was the first thing that popped into my mind," I said. "I'm sorry."_

_He carressed my cheek and kissed me gently. "Forgiven."_

_I grinned and hugged him before setting my mind back onto The Plan._

"Hmm, I think Aunt Flow's visit deserves three," Harry said. Alaya felt herself blush a deep red while the rest of the group roared with laughter.

_I woke up that morning with blood all over the place. I knew I should have payed more attention to Flitwick when he taught us those cleaning charms. Blood was smeared all over the bathroom and everyone else was at breakfast so I couldn't ask for help. So I had to get on my hands and knees and wipe up the bathroom. It took forever, it almost made me late for Potions._

_Sprinting, I barely made the bell to that blasted class. Who's smart idea was it to put Potions in the dungeons anyway? _

_"How great of you to join us," Pansy drawled, taking up Snape's job. _

_I growled at her. I mean I seriously growled at her. She looked aghast and shut up quickly. Though growling is not an approved way of getting someone off your back it works efficently enough. _

_"What's wrong, baby?" Draco asked gently._

_I sat by him and leaned into him. He put his arm around me lovingly, and gazed down at me with those gorgeous gray eyes. All the stuff I had been mad at seemed to evaporate. Pansy was a pile of dust, the blood that morning was long forgotten, the painful cramps that were murdering my insides seemed to stop what they were doing and watched with me._

_"Aunt Flow came this morning," I mumbled. His apologetic smile was enough to warm my insides, he comfortingly wrapped an arm around me and rubbed circles with his thumb on my delicate white skin._

_"I'm sorry, love," he murmered._

_"Not your fault," I breathed._

_The rest of Potions went smoothly, Draco was the best in the freaking universe. But I didn't have my next two classes with him. Let me tell you, Trewlany and Hagrid will probably never think of me the same again. They're forever going to mark my period on their calenders and pray I don't come to visit. Lets start with Divination, shall we?_

_Well, to start, those stupid stairs were so freaking long. Ugh, just like the dungeons who was the smarty that decided to hold Divination up there? Why not just one floor? Or better yet, an elevator or at least little signs along the way. I missed half of class and when I finally stomped up Trewlany decided to predict my death._

_"Oh dear, your end is near my dear," she whispered seriously._

_"Look lady, out of my way! I am going to sit down at my seat and everyone will be silent. NO death predictions or what-not what-so-ever. If I hear so much a whisper there will heck to pay!" I yelled. I finally lost it._

_"And if we don't?" a snotty hufflepuff asked._

_I had had enough. I snarled at that boy like you-know-what and he actually screamed like a girl and cowered from behind his chair. He never talked to me ever again. Funnily enough..._

_Everyone sat in silence and everyone scrambbled like a bat out of you-know-where. But I was still veeery mad and irriatable and was ready to growl at anyone if necessary._

_In Hagrid's class, it was bit different. No one made any contact to me, but stayed clear of me and let me scowl. But soon the animal Hagrid was showing us - can't recall a name- crawled up to me. I suppose it was trying to make me feel better, it was rolling around in the grass, trying to make me smile. It got the impression that I wanted to play so it growled at me. I growled back. And back and forth and back and forth until the little animal decided to take it a step up. It blew fire into my face. I could not return that because I was out cold. Not from surprise or anything, I'm not a marshmellow, my body doesn't react to open fire well. I didn't go up into flames, I blacked out. My body just kinda stopped supporting me._

_When I woke up I saw ice gray eyes looking down at me with concern._

_"Draco?" I whispered._

_"Hey, baby, I'm sorry I wasn't there. Dumbledoor arranged our scheduals so nothing like this will happen again. He didn't know you reacted so badly to Aunt Flow and decided it'd be better if you had me around," Draco babbled. Slowly I pressed my lips to his to shut him up. It worked amazingly well too._

"NEXT!" Alaya shouted.

"Um, the Grim," Ginny said randomly. "Oh come on, don't you guys remember when Alaya saw Sirius out on the grounds and started cooing to it saying 'nice grim' and 'that's a good doggy?'"

"I remember," Alaya giggled.

_I was so bored. Draco was making up a test for some class I couldn't pronounce, everyone else was at Hogsmeade. I was laying on the lush green grass of the Pitch. I barely noticed a huge, shaggy, black dog come up to me. Absently mindedly I pet it, not realizing his teeth were bigger than my head._

_"Hey, there," I cooed to the dog. "You know, I should go show you to Trewlany, give her the scare of a lifetime. 'Professor, Professor, the Grims on the loose!' No offense to you, of course. Because you're a good doggy, yes.You're a rather nice dog, ya know? You look a lot like what Hermione described as Sirius Black's animagus form to be. How odd would it be if you phased into Sirius Blac-"_

_As I babbled Sirius Black did phase out of the dog. Not to mention embarrased I called Harry's godfather 'a good doggy' but I was shocked to. You would be very much so if the dog you were talking to became Sirius Black. Or anyone else for that matter._

_But then I realized I had a secret weapon for The Plan._

_"Sirius, you know Harry and Hermione pretty well, right?" I said, more mini plots forming in my head._

_"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Sirius asked, an imfamous smirk forming on his face._

_"Dude, I'm half way done," I said, chuckling. "So, here's The Plan..."_

"What about the number one?" Harry asked obliviously.

"Well, I'd like to introduce you to The Plan," Alaya said, trying to unsucessfully fight the smirk growing on her face.

_It was finally coming. FINALLY. The Plan was being finished out. Just one step closer and we were there. But that's nothing a ball, a couple songs, one or two people declaring love for each other can't fix._

_So, now I had all the important people on my side, I couldn't lose. Because honestly? How can you lose with Dumbledoor, a not-so-dead Sirius Black, the entire Hogwarts staff, the Order of the Phoneix, and Draco Malfoy on your side? Exactly, the chances of that happening are slim to none. Dumbledoor was organizing the ball, I was singing some songs to get people in the mood. If all went well my mini Plan of Remus and Tonks would work too... But back to the main The Plan._

_I made sure Hermione was all dolled up like she was at the Yule Ball and Harry was ready to go. The place looked amazing. I was in a blue halter top design ball room taffeta gown. The dress was hand decorated with an array of rhinestones, beads and sequins in a delicate floral design. Hermione was in this amazing strapless gown that was a really dark crimson with a little floral design of beads at the top and peeked from behind the cover that was just the plain dark crimson. At the side was a vertical line of buttons that brought out Hermione's figure._

_Sighing I watched as people filled into the room. Draco came up to me behind the stage and hugged me._

_"Are you sure you're gonna do this?" he asked me._

_"Ya, I gotta finish The Plan or else the last month has been a total waste," I said determinedly._

_"Okay, if you're sure," he said._

_"I am," I said before pressing my lips to his for soft and sweet kiss._

_We broke away and I had to go up on stage and get the crowd up for the time of their lives._

_"Hey guys! Its me, Alaya! ARE YOU READY FOR A GOOD TIME TONIGHT?" I yelled into the sonorus charm._

_Echoes of 'YA' in several different formats followed that._

_"Good answer!" I laughed. "Let's start with A thousand Miles by our favorite American artist Vanessa Carlton!"_

_My little crowd cheered like it was the end of the world._

_**"Makin' my way downtown,  
Walkin' fast,  
Faces pass and I'm homebound."**_

_I watched the crowd carefully as I saw Harry invite Hermione to dance. Judging by her smile and the way she's going out onto the floor with him she said yes._

_**"Starin' blankly ahead,  
Just makin' my way,  
Makin' a way through the crowd."**  
_

_Forlornly I looked at Draco, wishing I could be in his arms. He was swaying in the back, smiling that smile at me._

_**"And I need you,  
And I miss you,  
And now I wonder..."**_

_Slightly my mind doubted The Plan. What if I wasn't supposed to play Matchmaker here? What if Hermione was supposed to end up with Ron and Harry with Ginny? What if I was fighting a battle against something that didn't need to be changed? What if I was upsetting the balance? What if I was doing the wrong thing? Meddling with people's lovelives... that's not too bad is it? If it is they're going to have to saddle up a cell for me next to Lucius Malfoy and we'll play cards for the next few years in our cells._

_**"If I could fall into the sky,  
Do you think time  
would pass me by?  
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles  
If I could just see you...  
Tonight."**  
_

_But my confidence returned when I saw Neville and Ginny slow dancing with Ron and Luna back there too. Were they doing the tango...?_

_**"It's always times like these  
When I think of you,  
And wonder if you ever think of me."**_

_My attention returned to Draco, completely forgetting the rest of the audience. All the people I had set The Plan up for. I hadn't thought I'd get my happy ending out of it along the way._

_**"'Cause everything's so wrong  
And I don't belong.  
Livin' in your precious memory."**_

_Tonks just took someone's hand. It looked like Lupin but in this dim lighting you can never be too sure._

_**"'Cause I need you,  
And I miss you,  
And now I wonder... "**_

_I looked at Sirius in his dog form watching everyone pair up. Faintly I wondered if there was ever going to be a girl out there that would truthfully sing this song about him. He deserved it, he was one of the best guys I've ever had the fortune to meet._

_**"If I could fall into the sky,  
Do you think time  
would pass me by?  
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles  
If I could just see you...  
Tonight."**_

_I could barely believe my eyes. I thought they'd never get it! McGonagall just blushed and put her hand in the one and only Albus Dumbledoor's hand. Merlin's socks, I never thought The Plan would extend to such heights. I was ecsatic._

_**"I, I, don't wanna let you know  
I, I, drown in your memory.  
I, I, don't wanna let this go.  
I, I, don't. "**_

_Fondly I watched Luna whisper to Ron about Nargles. I could hear here from my stage. _

_"Ron, I know you probably don't want to hear this but Nargles attack anyone who doesn't mate, and seeing as I don't want to see you attacked and that you and I both conviently don't have mates we could protect ourselves from Nargles-" Luna babbled before Ron cut her off and kissed her full on the lips. They stopped dancing to just to absorb the moment._

_**"Makin' my way downtown,  
Walkin' fast,  
Faces pass and I'm homebound."**_

_Ginny bravely staked her claim by snogging Neville who responded immediatly. I beamed with pride. Everything was working itself out._

_**"Starin' blankly ahead,  
Just makin' my way,  
Makin' a way through the crowd."** _

_Remus was whispering in Tonks ear. Whatever he was whispering was good because Tonks never looked happier._

_**"And I still need you,  
And I still miss you,  
And now I wonder... "**_

_The moment I was waiting for. The heart of The Plan. I watched the two lean in. Harry whispered something to Hermione that made me wonder what he said because Hermione's grin widened._

_**"If I could fall into the sky,  
Do you think time  
Would pass.. us by?  
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles  
If I could just see you... "**_

_They were such teases, they must know I was watching because they took forever to kiss. But once they did they didn't let go._

_**"oh oh."**_

_Inwardly sighing I smiled at Draco._

_**"If I could fall into the sky,  
Do you think time would pass me by?  
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles  
If I could just see you. "**_

_I lost sight of Draco. One second he was standing right in the middle of the crowd then he's not! Where could he be?_

_**"If I could just hold you...  
Tonight."**_

_Someone's arms wrapped themselves around me carefully and a warm breath went down my neck._

_"You don't have to move an inch, Laya," Draco whispered in my ear before turning me around and kissing me. _

_So, ya, some may call what I did 'disrupting the peace' or whatever but it made everything fall into place. And here's the happy ending you've all been waiting for._

_We didn't 'Live Happily ever after' because that'd be an ending. And what we have will never have an ending. _

--

Minerva sighed as she read through Alaya's list of memories. Laughing at some, concerned at others. What really got her was the ending really. They were one heck of a bunch but they were well worth it, Minerva felt.  
Albus came into the room and read through the list, remembering Alaya's The Plan and how well it had come out. He started messing around with papers and clips before her curiousity got the better of her.

"What are you doing?" Minerva asked.

"We are making copies of these and storing them different places just to be sure one of these makes it to their class Reunion," Dumbledoor said, his eyes twinkling.

"I personally can't wait for that Reunion," Minerva laughed.

"It'll be interesting."

**(A/N HEY GUYS! Whoo, finally got that finished! Ahh, right? so, pretty please tell me how it was and stuff, I'll be patiently waiting for some kind of sign that there's life on the other side of the circuit reading this fic :D)**


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